6/5/10
I remember when growing up that the “old” people talked about their health. I vowed I wouldn’t sit around and talk about my health when I got old. It sounded so boring. It is rather boring when it becomes the main conversation. It’s also very important. I’ve learned that like any stage of life, we are learning how to adapt. Age brings with it new challenges and health concerns. The best gift we can give to our families is to care for our health. We need to also pass this value down to our loved ones. With all of the talk about hormones being fed to animals to make them mature faster and grow fatter or bigger, it is understandable that we must be concerned about the effect this is having on our children. What are they eating? I recently attempted to lose a few lbs on the low carb Atkins diet and was very unsuccessful. This diet worked for me years ago. I believe the meat is no longer as pure as it was years ago. Thankfully, I know enough to quit when something doesn’t work. I’m now using the Beverly Hills diet, which is fresh fruit and veggies, and yes protein. I’ve used this diet before with great success and feel much better about the food I eat. Why share this? We are what we eat. I recently spoke with a 58 yro man who had a gastric bypass. He’s lost over 150 lbs in a year. He is no longer diabetic, his cholesterol is down, he no longer has high blood pressure. Everyone is different, but I do know that if you start a new diet with some basic foods and stay on it for awhile, you will notice how adding other foods effects your body. Yes, I’m older and I’m talking about my health. Now I know that it is the way we help each other make it a little longer so that we can talk about something else a few years from now.
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Memorial Day is around the corner. My mother, daughter, grandson and others will celebrate a day or two on the beach. I’m thrilled that my mother at 74 is so interested in being with the great grandchildren. My own grandmother passed away in October 2009, and until then we have had 5 generations of women alive in our family for as long as I’ve been living. It’s exciting to have such a legacy. It will be awhile before we have 5 generations again, perhaps a decade or more. With so much maternal nuturing and naturing it is difficult to tell which one wins the argument in the discussions of personalities and characters. I’m happy for the positive traits regardless of how they came about.
My mother is very active. She scuba dives, runs her own business, travels when she has the opportunity. If you ask her if she wants to go somewhere, she starts packing! My grandmother was the opposite. She spent a lot of time alone and was not very active. Perhaps, she was depressed in an era when no one acknowledged depression. She was a very kind person and even with Alzheimers said “please, thank you, you’re so kind.” Her character didn’t change, however, her physical condition was compromised some from lack of exercise. I learned so much from her and throughout my life. In her last years, I learned that her personality remained true. I think that if I can be kind now, then perhaps regardless of my mental abilities in my later years, perhaps those same traits will shine through.
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Grandparenting is an amazing role. It brings with it wisdom, yet how we share that wisdom with our now grown children is not as easy as I imagined growing up. I thought my grandmother was awesome because she took us out for ice-cream, on trips, looked through pictures with us, and focused on us when we visited her. I never thought about conversations that might pass between her and my mother or father.
Now, I find myself wanting to the grandmother who gets to play with the grandchildren, and send them home to their parents. It just isn’t that simple. I have opinions on so many things, like whether they are eating okay, or what summer activities they should be involved in, or how to get the best education for them from the public school system. I want to be the person who can pass wisdom to her children without stepping on their toes or making them feel I don’t have confidence in their abilities. I know that I had my time as a parent and now I have to let my children have their time. I know that I can’t “say” where or how the grandchildren will spend their time. Most of all I know it is a new role for me and a fluid one. I’m still learning. As I learn and grow through this stage of my life, I hope to share with other grandparents our successes. The good ‘ol days will always be there, but I’m always excited to step into the future.
Leave your thoughts about grandparenting. Questions, answers, and comments. You can even pose a question to “Dear Grandma.”